


Test Drive

by kronette



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Episode Related, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-24 14:15:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1608137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kronette/pseuds/kronette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Human Kryten decides to test out his new body. Set during "DNA".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Test Drive

Kryten's chuckles died down as he found himself alone again in the MediBay. He peered down the corridor, but he didn't see anyone. He checked the monitors, making sure that Holly wasn't spying on him. When he was positive he was alone, he slid the catalogue out from beneath his leg and dropped it on his lap. 

The title _Electrical Appliance Catalogue_ stared back at him, teasing him with its collage of vacuums, toasters, washing machines, coffee makers and disposal units. He settled back with one hand on his brand new penis, slid his fingers once down the cover, and opened it. 

He started at the beginning, drawing out the anticipation: blenders. His eyes lingered over the BlendOMatic with standard 3.2HP Motor and 30,000 RPMs, his hand starting the slow glide up his shaft. 

Worthwools' Commercial Double Feed Conveyor Toaster, 2700 Watt with 5 minute heat-up time caused the breath to catch in his throat and his hand to speed up, enticing him with its top and bottom elements. 

He groaned at the Industrial Ironing Press, eyes drinking in the Teflon coated heating plate. He was learning what felt good and what didn't as his hand fisted the top of his penis, dragging out a small sound of pleasure. 

He was breathing heavily when he got to the washer/dryers, his arm already tiring from the long stroke up and down the shaft of his expanding penis. But when he saw the 11kg load capacity and 1400RPM spin speed, his hips bucked off the bed. 

He was ready. With a shaking hand, he turned to the vacuum section, his eyes immediately drawn to the triple-bag easy-glide vac with turbo-suction and a self-emptying dustbag. He closed his eyes as he felt a rushing sensation, all the blood in his human body filling his penis to bursting. His toes curled, his whole body tightened up, he had trouble breathing, his heartrate increased and he got worryingly dizzy, but it felt so _good_. His penis throbbed and pulsed in his hand and a wonderful feeling of euphoria accompanied the release of fluid. 

As he opened his eyes, his nose wrinkled at the mess on his hand and clothes and the catalogue. He felt extremely tired, the need to recharge almost overwhelming. He tossed the catalogue onto the floor, wiped his hand on the sheet, and let his new human body experience another new sensation: post-coital sleep.


End file.
